so that wasnt chicken after all
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
