sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We need to get me chipped asap
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
