Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
