Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
