dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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