Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
