then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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