worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
