I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Can I color on your dick again?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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