At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
