so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
