Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
