At least make sure they are 18
Why
my sisters under your porch take her home
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
