he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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