Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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