So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
