They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
