Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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