don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
