listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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