Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
