This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
