You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
