he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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