I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
