drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
