i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
