i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
