After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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