Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
