I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
