can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
