you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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