Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
