I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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