so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
