i jhust puked up my retainher.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
