whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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