i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
