dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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