There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
