Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
should my penis look like a turkey
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
