Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
