He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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