Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
