I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
