you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
