So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
