Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
