You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
