Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
